I've been thinking about things recently. I know I say that every time I begin a post..but it's true. Mainly I've been thinking about life in general, what we're supposed to do. Some tell me we're here to praise and worship God. Then, others tell me we're here to just live. I'm not sure what I believe yet. But that's only because I haven't the slightest idea how to do those things. I don't know that anyone does, they just make it up as they go along. But I'm not one of those people who can do that.
I've also been thinking a lot about death. Not other people dying, but me. I'm trying to imagine what it will be like. Will there really be some paradise where I can live for all eternity, will there be some hell that I must suffer, or will there just be nothing. Not existing, not being able to think, not anything. I don't know how to imagine that because with the other options I still exist. I am still thinking, breathing(maybe), and I'm still imagining. But if there is nothing, then I have nothing.
I think that we all really do live in our own worlds. Because each and every one of us exists right now. We can think, we can breathe, we can imagine. If my existence just suddenly ended, my world would end. Not my friend's, not my mother's, and not my cat's. My existence would end, and I wouldn't know it. I wouldn't know it because my mind would die with my existence. How am I supposed to comprehend that? How is anyone supposed to imagine what death is like? I've never really been good with 'exploring the unknown'. This is the most 'unknown' that I can think of. And most people might be afraid to admit it, but I am terrified of death. I don't know anything about it, except that you're gone from everyone's world.
But is that all? Is that just the end, or is there some place to go? Honestly, I don't know. But maybe you do? Maybe this has got you thinking a lot too. That's good if it has, and I'm sorry if you're just annoyed because you think I don't have faith. Well, whatever you believe, I would love to hear it. Maybe it will give me a little perspective.
1 comment:
I think you bring up some valid points, hon. We DO have our own worlds, especially when we need some place to retreat to and call our own. The place we can go to, build up in our minds if we must, and just decompress, destress, from the world.
The death thing is valid, too. Yes, you are an extremely faithful person. You're strong in what you believe. But that doesn't stop speculation and wondering what exactly will happen once we're all gone.
I agree with you, but I just learned to start living for the present.
lovelovelove,
addy
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